What's this...Excitement?

 It has been so long since I have really been excited about life. When I think back, I can remember being excited about moving to Washington. Man, that was a great feeling...driving across country with just the cat and all the snow. It was beautiful and it was thrilling to be starting something new and so completely unknown. It was the beginning of something wonderful and something crazy. I was starting out on my own and beginning my adventure. At the time, I felt like it could only get better.

When we got the news that Rob got the job here in VA, it wasn't the same. It was exciting that he had a new job that was going to pay such good money and great benefits; however, the excitement and exhilaration that I felt packing up my Escape and heading west was not there.

I've never thought of living in Virginia. One thing that I had been taught about this state is that it was humid and I hate humid. I came from Oklahoma for goodness sake. When the humidity hits 30%, I'm dying...so a place where the humidity is at least 90% all the time was not appealing.

With the truck changes and so forth, it took us a week to move from one coast to the other. We arrived here and spent out first night on Ocean Naval Base. Rob went to work the next morning and left me to pack up the room including the cat back in the car and then go entertain myself until he got off. Upon getting to my vehicle, I notice that some jackass had bent my antenna. That was the beginning of loathing this place I know call home.

In the two years that we've lived here, I can't say that I've learned to love it...matter of fact, I've barely learned to tolerate it. 95% of the people are rude, self-centered, and terrible drivers. The traffic is atrocious every day and I find getting to work more stressful then work itself...and I'M A POLICE OFFICER. I deal with the stress of the lazy and crazy all the time...not to mention the possibility of death. That's saying something! Not to mention the terrible weather. It's hot and humid most of the time and it rains...they have hurricanes, Nor'easters, and tornados...wtf?!

Anyway, with the move here I've lost or let go of the excitement of life's possibilities. I wanted experience, so that I could finally move on to the career that I had pictured myself in since I was like 7.  With that, I applied to the police academy. No, I've never wanted to be a cop, but it was the experience that I needed. I went through the academy less than half-heartedly. It was an accomplishment to graduate and it did feel good, but I can honestly say that I was not excited....and pretty much everyday since has been just another day at work. Just working toward something better. However, that something better was not sparking the excitement that I was lacking either.

In October, Rob and I talked about our future and where we wanted to go. It was at that time that we decided it was time to get the show on the road. Secret Service here I come! But wait, there was one thing in my way...my eyesight. I needed to be 20/60 uncorrected and I can tell you that I am nowhere near that. LASIK...law enforcement discount and done deal. Scheduled the surgery for the 28th of this month. Saved the $2900. We were ready to go...but why wasn't I happy?

During that time, Rob was traveling a lot for work and that's really when I started this blog. I wanted to find my happiness again and I've been working on it ever since. So why was the life long dream of becoming a federal agent no longer exciting to me? What was exciting to me? How had I lost all of my excitement?!

I started thinking about hobbies that I had and things I loved to do. I always came back to one thing...books. I love to read and I love libraries. Oh all the books and all the possibilities. You can be a pirate, princess, wizard, or time traveler all in one day, one place! But to be a librarian, you need a masters...crazy right. I started looking into it and I found so many disciplines within that one area of study. I went to the local library and spoke to one of librarians there. She told me about the Virginia Librarian Conference in Williamsburg...it was in October. Rob was home that weekend and I was off, so we headed up there to check it out. I spoke to Florida State and University of Texas about their programs and gathered up as much info as I could.

Then I felt it...but what was it...? The more I learned and researched, the more the feeling grew. It was my friend, EXCITEMENT! It had returned and with everyday it was growing.

Finally, I had to tell Rob. So last week, I asked Rob to check into a school for me and from there we just took off. I told him how law enforcement, even federal, wasn't doing it for me anymore and how for once in forever I was looking forward to something and truly excited about it. I informed him that I wanted to get my Masters in Library and Information Systems with a concentration in Archives. He was in totally agreement.

While I would love to get my eyes done...I'm over contacts and hate glasses...I agreed to cancel my LASIK. Man, it was at such a great cost...$2400 after rebate. But to move toward my new dreams, we still needed to pay off the debt and pay for the classes. I've decided to apply to University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee, which has a deadline of February 1, 2010 for the fall semester. Online, of course. I'm busy working on my applications, letters of recommendations, and taking the MAT...I'll worry about the GRE later. I only need one for the application and the MAT is so much easier. :o)

(Best part yet...with a new direction comes a possibility of a new location!)

Everything is moving fast, but it's filled with my old friend EXCITEMENT and I couldn't be happier. It looks like 2010 is shaping up to be all that I been looking for and that is something to exclaim! And I found it a library.

"Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning." Gloria Steinem