Saturday, April 17, 2010

THE BOOK OF AWESOME by Neil Pasricha

1000 Awesome Things Check out this blog if you don't already. It is a great way to start the day. It will fill you with laughter, while looking at the person next to you and sharing your own awesome thing.

What are some of your favorite awesome things?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Heart Libraries!

So over the weekend, I was in Milwaukee for the MLIS orientation. While my program is online, I wanted to meet my advisors and some professors face to face. I felt like this would be the best way to start out a new path and quite frankly...I am so excited about this opportunity that I want to do it all!

Rob and I flew out at 5:55am on Thursday morning. We almost missed our flight actually. They had to hold the door for us! Luckily, we managed to get settled without really bothering anyone. Since Rob bought our tickets at different times, we weren't seated together on any of the flights. We made it to Detroit with no problems and were able to grab some breakfast before the quick hop to Milwaukee. That flight was short!

As I was exiting the plane there, I could already feel the difference in the weather. When we flew out of Norfolk the days had been in the 80s. In Milwaukee on Thursday it was a brisk 30 something! It even snowed a bit. We got our rental and went straight to the extended-stay hotel. We were so tired from the lack of sleep that we ended up grabbing lunch at Chilis and not leaving the hotel the rest of the night. Bedtime came pretty early for us. (Milwaukee is Central Time Zone.)

On Friday we were up at 7:00 and out the door at 7:50. The drive to the campus was wonderful. We took Lake Dr. so we could cruise past the lake and it was so pleasant. We started the day off with some great t-shirt, water bottle, tote, and magazines. Plus we had a continental breakfast. I love muffins. :o) The orientation lasted until 4:30, but it went pretty quickly. I was able to speak with my advisor and meet some fellow students, some who will also be DE students. Turns out the student organization was planning a little get together afterward, so Rob and I joined up with them. They took us to a place called The Safe House. The idea behind the restaurant it awesome. It's this whole spy theme. You have to know the password to get in or you have to do some silly trick. The door is hidden and so on. It really was a lot of fun, but the food was sub-par at best. Afterward, a few of us went for drinks at Champions?? I think that's the name of the place. Nice out of the way place. It was great hanging out with them. We played a fantastic game of Apples to Apples and called it a night around midnight.

Saturday was pretty uneventful. We stayed close to the hotel, went grocery shopping, and just watched some TV. Rob and I don't have cable or anything like it, so it was fun to actually watch HGTV. On Sunday, we went to the Milwaukee Art Museum. It was so beautiful inside and Art in Bloom was taking place. Art in Bloom is where florist interpret pieces in the museum in floral arrangements. It was a wonderful exhibit to be able to see. Also the Woman with the Veil by Raphael was on display. Stunning! The museum had so many wonderful galleries, but there was no way that we were going to be able to see everything that morning. Rob was scheduled to flight out on Sunday. (Did I mention that our tickets weren't bought at the same So after the museum, we grabbed lunch and headed back to the hotel. Basically, we hung around there until it was time to take him to the airport. That night I sat in front of the TV and watched Brothers & Sisters! I was so excited that I was able to do that...not to mention it was a 2 hour show!!! Awesome.

Monday was my day to fly out. I packed up and went to meet Morgan for lunch at 1230. It was good food and good conversation. We were there until 4:00. I think that was more my doing than hers. My flight wasn't leaving until 6:30pm, so I had nothing else to do but sit in the airport. It's been forever since I had lunch with a girl...I've missed it so much. There are so many things to talk about. She was so gracious to listen to me chatting away. LOL...I believe she was having fun too. :o)

From there I went to the airport, returned the car, and settled in for my two hour wait. Surprisingly, the time past quickly. The flight was ahead of schedule and we landed in Detroit in no time. We left there on schedule and landed in Norfolk ahead also. I had to actually wait for my ride instead of the other way around. Any frequent flier know how that goes. Jack was so excited to see me. Purrs nonstop. Because I felt sorry for him, I left him sleep in the room with me and he loved every minute of it. Today he has hardly left my lap. So spoiled.

This trip was the icing on the cake. I was already excited about the program and now I can't wait for it to start! September seems like forever away. Ugh! I get to enroll on the 20th, so I'm counting down. It's going to be awesome!! WOOO! Overall, it was the a fantastic opportunity and I was able to meet some really great people who I hope to keep in touch with.

 Erin and Andrew at Champions

Allison and Morgan at Champions 

 18K Gold Tea Set by Tiffany & awesome it that!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Whew...another week. Thank you! Yesterday was awesome. I spent the day shopping, which I don't do often. It takes me way too long to decide on something, especially when working within a budget. We have a clothing "envelope", so we can only spend what is in set aside. Luckily, I received an Express gift card for $100 for my birthday; plus, I had a coupon. Yes! I love coups. Rob agreed to meet me at the mall, since he really does have a good eye.

I have to admit, the beginning of the shopping experience was stressful. After about an hour and a half, I had an armful of items to pick from and I didn't "love" them. Now if I had the money to just buy what I want, then I would definitely have been excited about all of them. They looked good on me and I liked them; however, since I shop within a budget I really need to love whatever I buy. Besides, everyone knows if you don't love it in the store you're not going to love it when you get home!

So while standing in the side aisle trying to talk with Rob about what to get, take his thoughts into consideration, stay within my budget, and still get the stuff that I wanted and that was in my head when I walked into the store...I almost had a breakdown! I've never been so stressed out while shopping. I was at the point of just leaving and coming back later. I couldn't figure out what went wrong. I was excited to go buy a few spring/summer dresses and get some cute shoes to go with. I knew that I wanted a pair of plain black slacks and two cardigans (a black and a white). These were all things that I knew that I wanted. Yet, looking in my hand I only had one thing on that list. I realized that it all broke down when we first walked in and I found this great cream/off white long cardigan that I was drawn to. I loved it, yet I let Rob talk me into grabbing a short one. I love his input and while I had an idea in my own head, I was basing what I was picking up mostly on his opinion.

At this point, Rob had to be heading back to work. Turns out that this was for the best. Once he left, I started all over. I put back all but two skirts that I had been carrying around and focused on what I really wanting. Rob had mentioned before he left that I should buy what was on my list, since he knew that would make me the happiest and cut down on my buyer's remorse. Therefore, I went back to some of the things that I had in my head when I first walked into the store. I wanted some cute, summery dresses. In my head, they were short not long. I picked up a few to try on...I went back to the first creamy long cardigan...checked the sales rack...and grabbed a pair of crop wide waistband Editor pants in black. When I came out of the dressing room, I knew without a doubt what I wanted and better yet, I was happy about it!

I ended up with a purple dress, the Editor pants, a gray t-shirt from the clearance rack, my creamy cardigan, and a little black skirt that was 40% off. I then went to Payless and picked up three pairs of shoes. A light yellow colored slip on, a gold gladiator sandal, and a navy blue/grey wedge. The only remorse that I felt when I made it home was that I had spent my gift card and all of the money in the envelope. While that is what it's there for and Rob did say I could spend it, I felt bad that I spent it all and Rob ended up with none of it. I guess the next time it gets a nice chuck in there it will be his turn. Regardless, I look fabulous in all my new stuff. Below are a few pictures of my loot! I know the pants are khaki and the cardigan black in the picture, but pretend. :o)

DREAMWEIGHT FLUTTER SLEEVE DRESS   CROP WIDE WAISTBAND EDITOR PANT   RUFFLED FOLDOVER MINI SKIRT   FLYAWAY RIBBED-SLEEVE CARDIGAN  Brands Montego Bay ClubSamantha Cork Slingback Sandal  Brands Lela Rose for PaylessAshland Mary Jane Wedge   Womens Lower East SideKaroline Mid Heel Bow Slide

Friday, April 2, 2010


Am I ever going to be okay with it? Am I ever going to just move past the past?

This morning I woke up to find some forward emails in my inbox. One from the ex-wife, with hubby's reply, and one that he wrote to his children. Not the way that I want to start my day, but the fact that he remembered to send it was encouraging. 

We have struggled with this aspect of our relationship. Having another female emailing your husband is unnerving, regardless of the "connection" and seeing how in the beginning...the frequency and emotional content...well, let's just say it can be very trying. There were so many times that I would read one and get angry, which led to a fight. I was furious that at his reaction to them, his replies, and the fact that he had an incredible hard time seeing anything she did as over the line. He was upset that I was so upset. That I was being understanding. That I couldn't just understand that she was the mother of his children. So on and so forth. There would be times when he wouldn't tell me about the emails. He would agree to things and bring it up later. More fighting. Anyway, we have worked hard to get to the point where he includes me in their exchanges. He still worries about my reaction, but pushes the emails through anyway. Surprisingly, I handle them better because I don't feel as left out. I don't feel like there is something going on behind my back. 

So this morning, I read the email from the ex. It was about her newest boyfriend and how he has been hanging out with her and the kids a lot and it's getting serious....then it included hubby's reply. Same as all the others...asking basic details about the new guy and making sure that he knows his place in the kids' lives. In his reply, he chose to include a comparison or two with our relationship and it made me angry. They way he handles this sort of thing has always bothered me, but the comparisons really pushed me over the edge. Not once has he handled her new boyfriends anywhere close to how she handled our relationship and not once has she handled hers the way that she treated ours! How dare he compare her new fling with where we are in our relationship! We are married and have been together going on 4 years! How dare he invalidate our relationship in that manner. We were living together for over a year before I met his children. I had to have a meeting with her first. Then I had to go over to their house and spend a few hours there, so they could get to know me, before we took them with us. I spent the day at their house for his son's birthday party...while she and her friends talked about me in the kitchen. How dare he....

Needless to say, I have very strong feelings about the way that they each have decided to handle her relationships. He's "whatever" and she's introducing a new guy after only a few months when they aren't serious. I just don't get it.

So I am angry. I am hurt. I wanted to email him back and tell him how angry I was, but I didn't. I did not want to take another step back caused by something that cannot be changed. I just took a deep breath and reminded myself that he shared the email. He's trying. As for my feelings, I'll just share them here because he will never understand and it will never change. It's all about being accepting of the situation and not letting it bring you down. Not letting his past effect my future. Thankfully, bring my thoughts and feelings here has made me feeling better. Now when he comes home from work, we can have a good day with no fights. 

Part II:

As I already mentioned, I also had an email waiting that he send to his children. Now this is the first time that I have ever had one of these, so I'm not really sure of his motivation. Never have I asked to be included in this correspondence and never has he shown any interest in doing so. These email was entitled Re: I love you. Surprisingly, it was quite a long one (about the length of Part I) and it turns out that the entire thing was him expressing his love to them. Anyone how has read my previous post Does He or Doesn't He, or any recent one for that matter, knows my thoughts, anxiety, and doubts when it comes to that area of our lives, so you can imagine how I felt reading an endless email about his love and devotion to them. After the first email, this one pretty much shattered what was left of my calm. I even cried a bit.

"I know the situation as it is now is not the best when it comes to us being together (you, Gabey and me) but you can trust in the fact that I am working on both ends (here and with your mom) to make it better."


"My heart is full of joy because I know you two live and breath.  I work to ensure that mommy gets the money she needs to keep you two well taken care of because right now that is what I can do consistently do without fail, but you two [are] more than the money I send out, you are my children, my love, my life." 

What am I supposed to say to that? How am I supposed to feel? I don't know what the correct way is, but I do know that it makes me feel separate, a third wheel, loved less...not like a beloved wife. That email torn at my most tender spot and I am left hurt and feeling alone. I know that he was not trying to hurt me with his words and chances are he was not considering my feelings at all when he emailed them. I know he doesn't read this blog, so I am sure that he is not anymore aware of my feelings than he was when we discussed them last. He was just trying to share with me, but ended up breaking my heart in pieces. 

Will I ever feel loved like I need? Will I ever feel like my husband wants children with me and can love us like he does the children he already has? Will I ever feel most important to anyone?