I have made the commitment to make this a year of change. I believe that I am doing a good work and each day I feel a bit better about myself and the journey that I have started. All the knowledge that I've been gaining about happiness has been eye opening; however, there is one thing that I find myself coming across daily. Happiness at work/in your career. Everyone talks about this and there have been several posts on the blogs I follow, as well as, KLove about people who really dislike their jobs and have found such happiness in quiting...either to start their own business or to pursue a life long dream. It is written everywhere that one important part of being happy is finding happiness in the things you do, to include your job.
And that's where I am at now. I am trying to make the necessary changes in my life and the biggest hurdle that I have is my job. My "Sundays" are full of anxiety about returning to work the following day. I spend the time before work dreading my departure. I can't imagine spending another 8 hours in a car, driving around, by myself. We hardly ever have partners...so it makes for a very long day. My weekends don't come soon enough, but even those aren't sacred. I often find myself going to court on those days. Just this past 3 day, I spend 2 of them in court.
I long for a Monday through Friday job with regular hours. I can't keep doing this constant changeover. Every two weeks going from days to evenings. It's reeking havoc on my body clock. The stress of the job is enough to worry about without the stress of going to work and changeover.
One night after a rather upsetting evening at work, I came home to find on the computer a few jobs that Rob had pulled up for me. Both Library Technician positions in the Norfolk area. Be still my heart. I applied to both even though they are requesting experience in Libraries and knowledge of that nature; however, I figured that there was nothing left to lose. It's been a week and I really am anxious to hear from either of them. One is with the National Defense University and the other is with USR. Since both companies are with the government, I like to tell myself that they will require at least two weeks to look through all the applications and go from there. With that mindset, it gives the companies about three to four weeks to setup an interview. It also gives me hope...day after day. For instance, today is a Saturday so I can safely say that I will not hear from anyone today or tomorrow. Then my anxiety goes away until Monday. :o)
I find that I pray daily for the Lord to open this door for me, letting me out of the grind that I am now in; however, I fear that I might not have finished whatever task He has me in this job for. Resulting in my prayers going unanswered at this time and me dragging myself to and from work for what feels like eternity. I want to let Him lead...but boy, oh boy, it is hard!
Pray that the Lord will have mercy on me and provide a new opportunity for me soon and for the strength for me to continue on this path until He does open another door.