Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I'm awful at this. The thought to write in my blog hits me regularly...about once a day actually...yet, I never make the time to put those thoughts done. It is frustrating and disappointing. I find myself blaming my work schedule...when I'm on days I'm exhausted (very true) and when I'm on evenings I have 3 hours a day to accomplish everything that I have to before going off to work (also true). Yet, I always find time to do other things in that time. Things that are still important to get done, like my Bible study or exercise. Here's how a normal "day shift" day works out...

0430: Get up
0510: Leave for work
0600-1430: around in a car looking for law breakers...
1430-1500: Get off work and drive home

Then hope to be in bed before 2300 hrs and actually sleep. When we first switch over to days, I'll spend the first 2 days trying to adjust my sleep schedule. Getting to bed between 11 and 1am...spending the entire night tossing and turning from the expectation of the alarm. Wednesday I'm so exhausted I'm in bed by 1930 at the lastest. Then my Thursday and Friday are more even spread.

Between the time that I get home from work and got to bed I just veg out. My mental state is pretty much non-existant, more so on my Monday and Tuesday. This drain on my energy doesn't just effect my blogging, I often don't get my Bible Study or run in either. So okay, when I'm on day shift I don't get a chance to blog...but I still have my weekends!! Nonetheless, I don't make it a priority.

Now nights usually works like this:

0800: Get up
0900-1200: Bible Study, Run, Shower, Errands, Chores etc.
12:00-1300: Get Ready for work, pack lunch, make lunch, leave for work
1400:-2230: Work...see above
2230-2300: Drive home
2300-Midnight: Visit my husband
Midnight: Bed

Now if I have court that morning than I don't have time to do anything besides get up and go to court where I sit until I'm done then go straight to work. Without those days though, I how about 3-4 hours to get things done, however, I just never seem to have the time to get it all in there. Nonetheless, I don't make it a priority.

*sigh* Here is how I see my life with a new job schedule that doesn't change every other week and doesn't require me to work on my days off.

0600: Get up
0610-0640: Run
0645-0745: Shower/Dress/Breakfast
0745: Leave for work
0800-1700: an office with people who are not trying to kill me or anyone else.
1700-1715: Drive home
1800: Dinner
1845-2030: Free time
2030-2100: Get ready for bed
2100-2200: Bible Study
2200-2230: Bedtime

Now I keep going back and forth about the running and the Bible Study. I'm not sure if I would prefer to do the running after work and do my Bible Study in the morning to start the day or as I have it above. I enjoy starting my day off with the B, however, I also enjoy the run; but, I am not going to get up at a ridiculously early time to get it all in.

In this dream job fantasy, I have time to blog and do all the things that I want and need to do. In those hours of free time I can read or write or watch TV with the husband...the possibilities are endless. When that happens I'm going to stop making excuses for not writing and just write. When that happens I'm going to be all the things that I see myself being. Actually when that happens the Second Coming will probably be here. :o)

Either way, I hate that I don't make the time to write as often as I think about it. But I like that I just wrote a whole post on not liking it, yet still managing to make excuses that sound good enough to be okay with. LOL.

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